Stacy Ike 7/10/21 Stacy Ike 7/10/21

episode 203

kier gaines on letting go of expectations in relationships and falling in love with the gray area

on this episode of human2human with stacy ike, stacy talks with licensed therapist, father, husband and thought leader, kier gaines! take a deep dive with them into how relationships of all kinds can heal and grow within a society that often encourages expectations over reality, the importance of listening between black men and women, and the fear that surrounds cancel culture.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | glorious by ella henderson

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | atomic habits: an easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones by james clear

watch the video interview

“i want us to have honest conversations about where we are. i want us to embrace our shortcomings, you know, and not see our weaknesses as indictments on on overall beings but just a symptom of our humanness.”

— kier gaines

EPISODE 203 REFLECTION EXERCISE

If possible, put yourself in a learning situation this week. Talk to someone that you haven’t in a year. Challenge yourself to listen more than you speak and be brave enough to be wrong in the process.

Stacy Ike 7/7/21 Stacy Ike 7/7/21

episode 202

On this episode of human2human with Stacy Ike, we are talking to literary content creator Cree Myles about the joys of being a lifelong learner, the power of being a reader, and rediscovering one’s personal relationship with their identity. Support for this episode is provided by Penguin Random House’s, @AllWaysBlack Instagram community and their #AmplifyBlackStories mission.

Michelle Williams on how to be a safe friend and the beauty of forgiveness

this week’s episode of human2human with stacy ike features singer, actress, and author michelle williams! michelle and stacy talk about what it means to be a safe friend, finding purpose through the pandemic, and facing our own pain without shame. plus, we discuss michelle’s favorite chapter from her new book, checking in: how getting real about depression saved my life — and can save yours.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “if we had your eyes” by michelle williams

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | checking in: how getting real about depression saved my life---and can save yours by michelle williams

watch the video interview

“people feel like me forgiving someone will make them think that what they did was okay. no, you forgiving them keeps you out of mental physical and sometimes spiritual bondage and torment.”

— michelle williams

EPISODE 202 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | how much further were you pushed into your purpose because the pandemic made you pivot?

the pandemic was a paradigm shift for so many of us. i fell in love with "the gray area" because i did not realize how many emotions i could feel at once and still validate each one. i became more of who i always was through the heartbreak of the pandemic. that's the power of pain, it has the ability to shake you and make you all at the same time. human2human means more to me now than ever because experiencing a global breaking is why i have faith in the need of a global healing. thank you for being on the journey with me.

xx

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 201

cree myles, on the joy that comes with identifying as a lifelong learner through literature

presented by PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE’S ALL WAYS BLACK

human2human penguin random house all ways black

in this episode of human2human with stacy ike, we are talking to PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE’S ALL WAYS BLACK curator, cree myles.

a literary content creator, cree myles opens up about the joys of being a lifelong learner, the power of being a reader, and rediscovering one’s personal relationship with their identity. support for this episode is provided by penguin random house’s, @allwaysblack instagram community and their #amplifyblackstories mission.

TL;DR | On this episode of human2human with Stacy Ike, we are talking to literary content creator Cree Myles about the joys of being a lifelong learner, the power of being a reader, and rediscovering one’s personal relationship with their identity. Support for this episode is provided by Penguin Random House’s, @AllWaysBlack Instagram community and their #AmplifyBlackStories mission.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Thot Shit” by Megan Thee Stallion

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Watch the Video Interview

“Reading is an exercise in imagining, and the only way to grow your empathy is through imagination. So no matter what you are reading, YOU ARE BECOMING A BETTER THINKER.”

— Cree Myles

EPISODE 201 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION 1 | Are you existing out of fear?

STACY’S REPLY
Whew, This is such a good question! I can honestly say my answer is no, I am not existing out of fear BUT of course I have caught myself doing this before. I realized that when I am in fear it is because I am afraid of making a mistake and so I began to reckon with my relationship with mistakes. I learned, I can’t get it wrong. Yes, some things can be better but mistakes are lessons, and points of clarity of what I wanted or could have done instead. Once I changed my outlook on mistakes, I changed my outlook on fear and every day am falling more and more in love with the unknown.

QUESTION 1 | What brings me Black Joy right now?

Me
Myself
I

KIDDING.

My summer braids
Renewed Passion & Self- awareness
Human2Human!

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 114

Glennon Doyle On Owning Our Stories

There is truth and there is honesty and Glennon Doyle's recent bestseller UNTAMED wrote both together so beautifully that it made me break. I read her book after the first few months of the pandemic and I have not been the same since. I think you would agree that this past year unveiled so much about life, love, spirituality and so much more, all from the inside out. I think you would also agree that some of the unveiling left us all wrecked while picking up new pieces of awareness and understanding. When I connected with Glennonl, it was like giving my inner child a new best friend and it solidified my belief that we really are all the same inside. In this human2human conversation, episode Glennon and I talked about disappointing others in order to appoint ourselves, the nuances of spirituality transformation and we talked about knowing; that deep deep level of self-trust that in many ways, we are all re-discovering. I’m so excited for you to join in on this conversation along with us and I’m even more excited that we are all on this journey together. Make sure to share this one with a friend, or five. Enjoy xo!

TL;DR | In this episode Stacy talks to her favorite badass, Glennon Doyle, about owning our stories and rewriting our relationship with spirituality. Her recent best-seller UNTAMED set the tone for this beautiful conversation.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Life Goes On” by 2Pac

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer

Watch the Video Interview

“The people you are afraid of disappointing you have appointed as the boss of your life. When you DIS- APPOINT someone, you are removing them as the guide of your life and you appointing yourself.”

— Glennon Doyle

EPISODE 114 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Who benefits from me playing small?

STACY’S REPLY
Everyone but me, and also no one at all. Playing small is a false cage we put ourselves in because we think it helps and protects other people come to find out how to no one including and especially ourselves.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 113

Van Lathan On the Lessons of Solitude

In my constant growth and discovery, I have learned that love is truly connected on ALL LAYERS. The relationship yoIn my constant growth and discovery, I have learned that love is connected on ALL LAYERS. The relationship you have with yourself, directly correlates to the relationship you have with others, and the relationship with others directly impacts how you show up in the world. It felt only right to talk to my friend MAJOR on this topic, seeing as as far as I have known him I have only experienced him through love + he is a newlywed which means how he shows up in the world is expanding more and more everyday. It was a good call to say the least because this conversation was beautiful. In this episode, MAJOR. and I connect the dots by talking through the layers of love! Self-love, romantic-love, platonic love, and love for fellow humans. We talk about the intermixing and ways that each layer blends together and the necessary steps to stay connected to showing up in love throughout tough stages in life. Also, MAJOR. definitely hit me with a beautiful question at the end so make sure to stay tuned to that ;)

AND I know I already highlighted a quote from MAJOR but y’all….I had to mention something else he said that stopped the room.

“THAT’S WHAT GOD DOES. HE MAKES CERTAIN THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED, WHEN YOU SHOW UP FOR OTHERS. THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS.”

With that said, I hope this convo brings you love and inspires you right where you are xo. TAP IN -- and leave your comments below.

TL;DR |In this episode Stacy chatted with Van Lathan, TV Personality and host of the Podcast The Red Pill and Higher Learning about the commitment to take the lessons of 2020 into 2021, how he cultivates self-trust with his voice and his take on the narrative “Black men are the weakest link.”

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Life Goes On” by 2Pac

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer

Watch the Video Interview

“The question isn’t whether society will snap back or not (because it will), the question is if you will?”

— Van Lathan

EPISODE 113 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Describe your relationship with yourself in one word?

STACY’S REPLY
New -- This version and me don't know each other as much as we are absolutely getting to know each other on a different level evolving setting boundaries incorporating new believes deleting old ones that stop serving I would actually describe this car relationship as new and I'm excited

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 112

Hillary McBride On Recognizing Your Worthiness Now

I believe if you are reading this, you are on an active journey of self-love. For me, learning the layers of this roller coaster has been a beautiful reckoning but a reckoning nonetheless. Everything from self-talk to worthiness and mindfulness in between all shape the depth of love we have for ourselves and how we mirror that to others. AND I JUST HAVE TO SAY THIS, CAN WE MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THIS IS NOT AN OVERNIGHT JOB???!!! I feel like once we all identify that, we can begin to do the work without shame and judgment of ourselves (which low-key just prolongs the process anyways).

I have been listening to The Liturgists podcast for a few months now via a great friends referral and one of the host, Hillary McBride has always struck a cord with me. Her insight weaved with empathy and care made it so easy to relate to her and learn from her. When I invited her to join me on this weeks episode of #human2human and she graciously accepted, I knew I wanted to talk about the WAIT TO WORTHINESS. As a society, we are always being enticed with the “next best thing,” next best movie, relationship, career accomplishment, fashion trend and we are rarely given the permission to sit in the now. This constant chasing creates painful effects on our sense of being down to what we believe makes us feel worthy.

With that said, in this episode Hillary and I throw all of our cards on the table. We talk about honoring the voice of our bodies, the trap of shaming ourselves into transformation and practical affirming habits that lead us into liberation.

I am so excited for you all to dive into this convo! I hope you are validated in your journey and inspired to make sure your journey of love continues — ENJOY! Let me know what you think below.

TL;DR |In this episode, Stacy chats with her new favorite therapist Hillary McBride about honoring the voice of our bodies, the trap of shaming ourselves into transformation and practical affirming habits that lead us into liberation.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Surrender” by Natalie Taylor

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer

Watch the Video Interview

“If we are trying to establish a secure sense of self that prevents us from needing to work so much to earn our worth, we will never get [there] if we are shaming ourself into transformation…the mechanism by which we change is also the medicine we need.”

— Hillary McBride

EPISODE 112 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | How can I love yourself more?

STACY’S REPLY
By trusting myself more. By believing I can more, by not allowing my mistakes to bother me. By allowing myself to try new things not assuming it could be a mistake.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 111

MAJOR. On the Layers of Love

AND I know I already highlighted a quote from MAJOR but y’all….I had to mention something else he said that stopped the room.

“THAT’S WHAT GOD DOES. HE MAKES CERTAIN THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED, WHEN YOU SHOW UP FOR OTHERS. THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS.”

With that said, I hope this convo brings you love and inspires you right where you are xo. TAP IN -- and leave your comments below.

TL;DR |In this episode, Stacy catches up with MAJOR. about the layers of love! Self-love, romantic - love, platonic love, and love for fellow humans. They also talk about the intermixing and ways that each layer of love blends together and the necessary steps to stay connected to love throughout tough stages in life.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Honest” by MAJOR.

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Shack by William P. Young

Watch the Video Interview

“If you think your destiny is limited to [one] individual “getting it”, you have missed the greatness of God.”

— MAJOR.

EPISODE 111 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | What are my limiting beliefs?

STACY’S REPLY
Currently, I find myself stuck in this lie that I don't know enough. I feel behind on the things I want to educate myself on more and sometimes this stops me from learning at all. When I catch myself here, again -- I repeat remind myself that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 110

Devi Brown On Cultivating Self-Trust In the Gray Area

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE — THIS EPISODE IS NO JOKE!!

Ok, let me back up a bit. I am currently learning that self-trust, is one of the most pivotal tools needed to fully embody self-love. But in those uncertain moments, “the grey area” if you will, it can be very difficult to think clearly without the opinions of others or even the negative opinions from ourselves. That’s why this conversation was so important! Devi and I talk through cultivating self-trust when things feel cloudy and confusing. We talk about the necessary steps of healing and tools to give ourselves grace and space to embody non-judgement, self-forgiveness and access our higher selves fully and freely.

Unfortunately, social media culture tells us, you should be “perfect” now (there is no such thing) , but this healing conversation reminded me that self-trust CANNOT be performative, it takes time and practice.

This episode really spoke to me and I hope it does the same for you! TAP IN, tell a friend, journal about it if you have to -- and leave your comments below :)) Also, don’t forget to allow yourself the time and the practice to BECOME.

TL;DR |In this episode, Stacy talks with the powerhouse Devi Brown about cultivating self-trust in the gray area, the necessary steps of the healing journey and tools to use when working on self-trust.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Growing Pains” by Alessia Car

aBOOK OF THE EPISODE | Crystal Bliss by Devi Brown

Watch the Video Interview

“Until you actually start showing up with the fullness of what you want ... until you actually in real time listen to your bodies intuition and make choices out of that, you’re not going to access your higher self.”

— Devi Brown

EPISODE 110 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Am I using old beliefs to hold me back?

STACY’S REPLY
Today, no! But have I in the past absolutely. It’s human nature to go digging in the past for insight but truthfully the past has lessons it doesn’t have the roadmap for the future. The way I remind myself to stay present is keeping a gratitude journal.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 109

Arielle Estoria On the Deconstruction of the Good Girl

WHEWWW — and there is so much MORE where that came from. This episode was a breaking and healing at the same time

My guest this episode is an incredible poet, storyteller, model, author, beautiful human and wonderful friend. You know how you meet someone and you don’t really know if they are on the same wavelength as you but then one spark flies and its a done deal?! Thats how Arielle and I connected more than one year ago. Arielle and I share similar upbringings as the oldest in our families with a conservative Christian background. Although we honor our stories and experiences, I thought it was incredibly important to break down the example child title + the good girl syndrome and it’s dangerous support of people-pleasing, a lack of boundaries and a broken relationship with self-trust — THE DECONSTRUCTION OF THE GOOD GIRL if you will.

Who decides who and what a good girl is? Is it religion? Is it society? Is it marketing/advertising? WE GET INTO IT.

There is so much more I want to say but truly we left it all in the episode. Take a listen, grab a tissue, and if you can relate in anyway, I invite you to heal with us.

TL;DR | In this episode, Stacy chats with her favorite girl Arielle Estoria about the deconstruction of the "GOOD GIRL SYNDROME," the grief of growth, and reimagining self-trust.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “NO ONES IN THE ROOM ” by Jessie Reyez

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | Conversations with God by Donald Walsch

Watch the Video Interview

“The foundation of the good girl mindset is essentially just a conditioning of smallness.”

— Arielle Estoria

EPISODE 109 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Am I living true to myself?

STACY’S REPLY
Honestly. I don't think so. Am I consciously letting go of things that don't serve me and are not true to who I really am, absolutely. One day at a time

Major: What are my limiting beliefs?

Currently, I find myself stuck in this lie that I don't know enough. I feel behind on the things I want to educate myself on more and sometimes this stops me from learning at all. When I catch myself here, again -- I repeat remind myself that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 107 & 108

Monique Coleman On Taking Up Space

TAKING UP SPACE….what does that mean to you? Does it mean existing, living or living loudly with all of your highs and lows in plain sight? In this moment, I actually believe it can be all three — but now the question is which one are you willing to occupy daily? As a society, we loudly celebrate the man-made prerequisites to taking up space. It feels like we must take up a cross first; carrying burdens on our shoulders masked as “humbleness” wrapped in a never-enough narrative that keeps us playing small until we finally realize we can’t even see ourselves. That is not our job. God has already taken the burdens of this world to allow us to fully own our power. PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD. When we don’t unlock our true destiny, everyone attached to our greatness now waits on the sidelines for permission. Our purpose isn’t just about us. I believe each one of us are an extension of Gods love for humanity and when we show up for each other, we show up for ourselves as well.

Monique and I do a true deep dive into our GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to take up space, to be seen, to be vulnerable and to be loved fiercely as we already are. This topic is never as easy said as it is to live. The details behind taking up space are fragile, broken, strong, together, in pieces, in sadness and in joy. IT’S ALL THE THINGS WHILE STILL BEING WORTHY. (not sure if you have noticed but a lot of my convos lead back here because every chance I get I have committed to reminding us all including myself that we are ENOUGH).

During the episode, Monique also shares a very intimate experience and how she learned to show up completely — even when she was broken. “I feel honored to model to anyone going through anything that it IS okay, ” said Coleman.

I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to take up space with Monique and to now share that same space with you. Check out this beautiful conversation — I hope it brings you healing, hope and a greater connection to humanity.

TL;DR |In this episode, Stacy chats with the multi-talented Monique Coleman about our GOD-GIVEN right to take up space, to be seen, to be vulnerable and to be loved fiercely as we already are.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “She Got It” by Jai'Len Josey

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis

Watch the Video Interview

“We are meant to multiply and always be in community. If you want people to show up for you, go show up for someone else.”

— Monique Coleman

EPISODE 107 & 108 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Do I trust enough to try?

STACY’S REPLY
Trust is a daily practice for me. Everyday I remind myself that opening my eyes to see a new day is all the sign I need that I have the chance to try again.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 106

Alex Williamson On the Bravery of Unlearning and Relearning

Defining who we are by the “thing” we do is extremely limiting. We all have the capabilities to do many things. However, we live in a society that praises the idea of “focusing on one lane” but secretly expects you to be juggling many balls in the air and as a result we never feel satisfied or enough. On top of that, the ideas we have about how and who we THINK we should be inevitably effects how we judge other people. When we hear perspectives from people that challenge us, instead of exploring it, we criticize — sometimes unintentionally based on our fears. When we challenge another people’s beliefs using shame, it is a direct reflection of our ability to own our own opinions. In addition to that, when we compare ourselves to curated photos and edited videos, “we take away from the joy that is each one of us” without the followers or likes.

In this new episode of #human2human with former CBO of the dating app Bumble and my dear friend Alex Williamson, we talked about the willingness to heal without guilt or shame, the power of owning our opinion’s and the duality of getting to know ourselves more and more in the midst of chaos. We held space for the uncomfortable parts of growth, we held space to learn and exchange ideas, and we did so while recognizing that ALL of it is a constant work in progress.

As Alex reminded us so beautifully, be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others.

Tap in to this conversation, I know you will love it! Looking forward to your feedback & discoveries

TL;DR | In this episode, Stacy chats with former CMO of Bumble and her favorite TX gal Alex Williamson about the will to heal, the complicated steps of unlearning and relearning, and having compassion for ourselves and others.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “I am” by James Arthur

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert

Watch the Video Interview

“Every time you allow yourself to be yourself it gives you permission to do it again and again.”

— Alex Williamson

EPISODE 106 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | When do I feel most authentic to myself?

STACY’S REPLY
I feel my most authentic self when I make choices to make me feel good. I also feel that way when I am making people laugh and smile and open up.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 105

Ron Bass On the Difference Between Selfish and Self-First

The older I get the more I realize we might have tongue-tied the importance of self-confidence with self-love. Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment. Self-love is the regard for one's own well-being and happiness.

As I more consciously live out these practices in my life I believe one must be in practice, not perfected, but practiced before the other.

Without self-love, self-confidence can be performed. However, that’s not the case with self-love. Self-love reflects in our decisions, the way we treat others, how we treat ourselves and how those beliefs connect to empathy and purpose. In this episode, Ron and I talked through what it takes to really see ourselves the way God sees us and it’s a conversation you will NOT want to miss. We dive deep into the correlation of self-love through the lens of black men, black women, societal programing, trauma, and healing.

Let’s be frank, self-love IS NOT EASY. It is very clear that the world was not set up for that to be achieved right off the bat; unfortunately, we have to work for it. Fortunately, it's worth it and the more we invest into operating from the love and greatness within ourselves, the more we connect to each other, listen to each other and love each other deeply and fully.

What does your self-talk sound like these days? Have you affirmed yourself recently? And no, it isn't corny to talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful (we also talked about this in the episode).

BTW, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL but you don't necessarily need to hear that from me, you need to hear it from yourself. We all need to know how our body looks, feels and moves when addressed with love from ourselves….to ourselves. With that said, I am so excited for you to tap into this episode of human 2 human, make sure to share it with a friend, and leave your thoughts below. Please remember, we are truly all in this together.

TL;DR | In this episode, Stacy chats with the visionary Ron Bass about self-love through the lens of black men, black women, societal programing, trauma, and healing.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Human Nature” by Michael Jackson

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Watch the Video Interview

“There is a difference between selfish and self-first. We need to let ourselves know how amazing we are too.”

— Ron Bass

EPISODE 105 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | What does my self-talk sound like these days?

STACY’S REPLY
When I feel myself getting overwhelmed I repeat to myself “ Stace, you got this. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 104

Jessica Nabongo On Catching Flights to Freedom

This episode is a mixture of self-discoveries wrapped in a candid conversation that ultimately serves as a reminder to give grace to others and ourselves (basically it is a free therapy session so grab a pen and paper)!

At a time like this, empathy should be at an all-time high. You never know what people are going through, where they came from, or where they are going. Most days I believe that despite the chaos that comes with life, loving our fellow human beings unconditionally is the highest form of purpose. I also believe how we treat others is a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. And that is where the work is.

In all honesty, — the world isn’t set up for self-love or self-trust to be essential tools. You have to pursue that daily and intentionally through every decision you make. Decisions to let go, the decision to allow, the decision to love, and the decision to believe in goodness. When chatting with my one of my favorites, Jessica Nabango — the first documented black women to travel the WORLD *squeals,* it was important to me that we talked through her journey with this pursuit and the freedom that comes as a result.

In addition, Jess and I had an amazing conversation on her most memorable moments while traveling, knowing how to acknowledge self-growth and the transcendent power of love that universally connects us all. Take a listen and then after take a moment to affirm your right to BELIEVE in yourself and in others —without boundaries.

TL;DR | In this episode, Stacy chats with her favorite jet setter Jessica Nabongo — the first documented black women to travel the WORLD about her pursuit for freedom, radical self-belief, and love as the true universal language.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Boomerang” by Jidenna

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Watch the Video Interview

“I believe in people. The world is our neighborhood and the fact of the matter is that most people are good.”

— Jessica Nabongo

EPISODE 104 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | What am I afraid of? (name it)

STACY’S REPLY
Not using the gifts I was given in the time I was given.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 103

Jackie Aina On Why Overthinking Is a Waste of Time

It's pretty universal that there is a silent pressure to walk into your twenties having it all figured out. You're not a "kid" anymore yet you're not quite ready to be an adult and you are constantly being asked "so what's next” by friends, family, and bill collectors.

As I think about it, it's low key traumatizing, haha. As we go through our twenties, it feels like a constant whirlwind but the truth is, the places we have never been are new areas for growth NOT for shame or comparison. If you are 21, this is your first time being 21. If you are 29, this is your first rodeo here. And if you are 45, it doesn't matter what people told you about 45, this is now your 45. Your new age to discover, navigate and grow.

Connecting with Jackie on the commonalities of this journey definitely inspired me to keep going. Her and I had an amazing conversation about recognizing your firsts, doing away with overthinking, and her perspective on the work that still needs to be done in the beauty space.

Grab a notebook and a FaceTime friend because you will definitely have a debrief after this. Remember, the journey is the actual destination.

TL;DR | In this episode Stacy chats with beauty mogul Jackie Aina about recognizing firsts, doing away with overthinking, and her perspective on the work that still needs to be done in the beauty space.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “Up Down” by John-Patrick

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | Essentialism by Greg McKeown

Watch the Video Interview

“I’ve never had a groundbreaking moment from overthinking.”

— Jackie Aina

EPISODE 103 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | What is the main thing I want to keep the main thing?

STACY’S REPLY
I am a business minded creative with a speciality in mindfulness and human connection -- this is my main thing.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 102

Joel Leon On The Gift of Self- Forgiveness

Soooo, self- forgiveness, I KNOW.

I thought it was important to tackle….actually START this conversation (it definitely won’t be tackled in one day), because I believe this is a huge piece of the self-love pie. The world isn’t set up for self-love. The many avenues that the never- enough narrative has saturated every part of our lives from education to fashion to all social media apps prove that its easier to profit off of us never loving ourselves than to identify the truthful human experience of trial and error. You will make the wrong decision, period. You will say the wrong thing, that is a fact. You will tell yourself a story that is rooted in someone else’s insecurities because, life is like that sometimes. The question is, what are you going to do with all of this?

Over the past year, I took an even deeper dive into self-forgiveness and it felt impossible to do without guilt, shame, a lot of ridiculous self- talk, love, grace and time. Time was a big one. We forget to grant ourselves time but we hand it out to others without thinking. We are so quick to reprimand someone we love on their self-talk but rarely extend ourselves the same courtesy. I have a few theories on this (watch the episode to hear them).

But I will say this….Self- forgiveness is a journey — please don’t cut yourself out when it gets hard because all in all, you are allowed to be worthy. Not before you figure it out, not after…during. While you are still in the guilt, shame, lack of understanding, pain, and love, in the middle of all of it — YOU ARE STILL WORTHY.

TL;DR | In this episode Stacy talks with the incredibly thoughtful Joel Leon about the importance of self-forgiveness, compassion and accountability as a tool of love and not shame.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “This is Me from the Greatest Showman Soundtrack”

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

Watch the Video Interview

“The smaller the victory we acclaim for ourselves, the easier it is to be in a space of grace.”

— Joel Leon

EPISODE 102 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | What do I need to forgive myself for?

STACY’S REPLY
The last thing I forgave myself for was not allowing myself to seek and operating from limiting beliefs.

Stacy Ike 6/30/21 Stacy Ike 6/30/21

episode 101

Logan Browning On Expanding Your Happiness

There came a time, (somewhere between 2017-2018) where I realized happiness wasn’t a given. I was heartbroken to find this out. It isn’t that I didn’t know that there were good days and bad days — of course and I have had plenty of both. It was more of the realization that there would be days that I would not be able to put on happy and perform for other people. If I wasn’t feeling it, I couldn’t fake it and that felt terrifying. I would tell myself, “people need me to be happy! I need to snap out of this!” (why do we think that?!) Cut to a few months later — Logan and I were having an impromptu FaceTime call and we met so beautifully at the intersection of happiness and truth (more about this in the episode). The truth is happiness can’t be performed, it can’t be manufactured and when it is present — it won’t always stay. It doesn’t matter how successful, rich, popular, or whatever we use to outwardly assess our happiness, happiness is not a guarantee without gratitude.

Another part about down days, in addition to the opportunity to connect to gratitude, is being vulnerable enough to connect to community. Who benefits if you perform happiness? Think about it. You certainly don’t and in the long run, no one around you does either. But the willingness to let down our guard to express our pain, not only always for deeper relationships, but it’s like giving out invisible permission slips for people to do the same thing — to just be. In all forms, in all moods, and still be worthy (another lesson I learned heavy in 2018).

I’m excited for you to check out this episode. I hope you share it with your circle and invite each other to meet at the intersection of the truths you are afraid to face and give each other the permission to be worthy, anyway.

TL;DR | In this episode Stacy talks to the incredibly wise Logan Browning about gratitude being the true prelude for happiness.

SONG OF THE EPISODE | “HAPPY NOW” by pentatonix

BOOK OF THE EPISODE | The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Watch the Video Interview

“Everyone can be happy, but it is something we have to seek out.”

— Logan Browning

EPISODE 101 REFLECTION QUESTION

QUESTION | Who benefits if I perform happiness?

STACY’S REPLY
Whew!! So the reason I asked us to all reflect on this question is because it is necessary to check ourselves and our actions. For me, I have made decisions for other people swearing it was worth it because at least “they are happy” the truth is, this cup dries up...and then no one is happy. Not you, not the people in your life you are serving, no one. No one benefits from this performance. It may seem okay for a little while but it never lasts and usually all you are left with is resentment. We have to be willing to acknowledge, and feel through all of our feelings. Even and especially the hard feelings. This eliminates performance. Plus, we don't get paid enough to act happy anyway.